Convincing My Son To Get His Flu Shot

Messaging Strategies & Challenges for 5-Year Olds

Messaging Strategies & Challenges for 5-Year Olds

Some thoughts on flu shots, which may or may not apply to convincing folks to get a COVID shot, or two. This is based on an article I wrote on this subject a few years ago.

My 5-year old son, who had no trouble handling multiple simultaneous vaccines in infancy, really hates them now. They hurt, or so he thinks. And thus he really, really did not want to go get his flu shot for the upcoming winter, despite seeing mom & dad survive the ordeal unscathed.

So, how to convince him?

There are several competing questions to ponder, for now, and for the future.

First, does he need to get a flu shot? In theory, no, as unlike critical and mandatory vaccines like Mumps or Rubella, the flu is less serious and the vaccine less effective. However, it’s still important for children individually and to build herd immunity. So, yes, if at all possible he needs a flu shot. And will really need a COVID shot, like you.

Second, do we need the shot today (since we are at the doctors’ office anyway), or can we wait a bit, until he’s in a better mood, or perhaps if just got sick so flu-like symptoms are in recent memory, or to give his mother time to work on him? Yes, we can wait, but we are here and it’ll just take 5 minutes, right now. So let’s get it done.

Third, should I bribe him, say with ice cream? I hate to do this, as it builds the wrong incentive structure, though one can argue he doesn’t really understand vaccines and as long as used sparingly, it’s okay. But bribing kids is neither a long-term nor great strategy, though perhaps a million-dollar lottery is okay? I’m all for bribing adults for COVID shots.

Fourth, should I force him, physically and/or mentally, perhaps dragging him kicking and screaming into the nurse’s station? Hardly good parenting, nor conducive to a life-long love for medicine (though we did have to force him a bit for his 4-year old blood drop draw for some tests).

But in the end, force should be reserved for truly life-threatening situations, such as a blood transfusion, emergency tests to treatments, etc. Or perhaps COVID? Perhaps not.

Fifth, should I promise the shot won’t hurt at all, likely a small white lie? Not ideal as this teaches dishonesty, something we rigorously avoid with him. And he may not believe me anyway. Lying doesn’t help anyone.

On the pain issue, I also need to balance the pain of this shot vs. future shots he might really, really need, say for future vaccines, dental work, blood draws, or other serious situations where refusing is not an option. If this flu shot really hurts, it’ll make things much harder next time.

Final result?

In the end, after 15 minutes of tears and some arguing, I was surprisingly successful. We went in the office, registered, saw the nurse, got the shot, paid our $15, and were out the door without incident. Successful parenting day, I think.

How did I do it?

I told him it would be fast, that we’d tell the nurse we didn’t want it to hurt, and if it did hurt, he would get ice cream on a sliding scale of pain vs. scoops of yumminess. More pain, more ice cream, always a valid tradeoff in my mind.

So I never lied, but did encourage him to request a pain-free shot. And if it didn’t hurt, he’d get one scoop. Hurt a bit, two scoops. Hurt a lot, three, and on from there up to five full scoops of delicious ice cream, if needed. Turns out, it hurt a little and he got two scoops.

Your mileage may vary, but I hope this is helpful on the road to full & happy vaccinations for any and all your children. And your parents, siblings, co-workers, and the rest of society.